The Day is Near...

Well, tonight marks the last night that I will spend in the wonder that is the United States of America. Tonight marks the beginning of the next chapter that is the semester of my life.  Tonight marks the dawn of a new era!  Ok...maybe it's not that extreme, but it is a pretty important day.

I have never traveled out of the country before.  Even more so, I have never been on a plane before (except for when I was in the womb).  And, in less than 12 hours, I am going to be embarking on a journey that encompasses both.  And, Lord-willing, in a little under two days, I am officially going to be MIA as an American student studying Spanish education at Ball State University and taking on the role of a American student studying Spanish in Segovia, Spain.  It's honestly quite overwhelming, and my words cannot do justice the thoughts that have been running through my head the last 24 hours.  I really can't fathom it.  It's all so surreal.

But it's happening nonetheless.

Over the last weeks as I have been preparing to go on this once-in-a-lifetime journey, I have been whacked with almost every possible emotion in the book.  I have experienced excitement, joy, passion, sadness, frustration, anger, and fear as I have gotten farther and farther down this very long and winding road that is the path to study abroad.  It's been all of those things because I have never experienced anything like it before.  Growing up, I never lived in a life where travel occurred by plane. All of the traveling our family would ever do would be in a stuffy car with all kinds of luggage, pets, and uncomfortable sitting positions.  Also, I never lived in a life where the world was at my fingertips. My family's version of an international vacation was traveling to the Canadian side of the Niagara Falls which, conveniently enough, was situated right next door to my family's original home of Buffalo, New York.

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't find any of those things to be bad.  In fact, some of the best trips were had in those stuffy cars.  But, in preparing myself to be a world traveler, I went in having very little experience, and this semester proved to be quite the challenge as deadline after deadline came up due for applications and scholarships and passports and visa appointments and seminars...the list could go on forever.  And, in the blink of an eye, August turned into December.  And now, as January starts to move along, I am facing the most intense moment of my life as I leave to go to the airport to board a plane that is going to take me over the second largest pond in the world...the great Atlantic Ocean. What the heck?!  Where did the time go?!

"For my grace is sufficient for you," says the Lord. "For MY power is made PERFECT in weakness." -2 Corinthians 12:9

As the time has come closer, I have done a lot of wrestling with God over this very verse.  I have been doing a lot of soul searching in hopes that I may find true peace with a very scary situation.  And in many ways, God has been providing that bit by bit.  After spending the last week with so many beautiful brothers and sisters in the Lord, God has slowly been reminding me just how much they (and ultimately HE) cares.  I have been fearing so many things: not being able to measure up while I'm in Spain, whether or not I was making the right decision in going overseas, not being missed while I'm gone, not being able to financially support my endeavors, the whole enchilada (and no, that's not a true Spanish dish!).  But despite my worst fears and anxieties, God has seen it all in me and has provided so many answers and comforts to those very broken areas of my life.  It's amazing, because he hit on ALL of them, and not to condemn my feelings, but to remind me that His grace is sufficient for me, and that His power is made perfect in my weakness.  He gave me just the right people at just the right times to say just the right things.  You can't write stuff like that.

I'm going to end this pre-departure post by mentioning a couple of questions that I was asked a few weeks ago when I had my study abroad pre-departure orientation.  They told us to look at these questions and answer them, so that when we return we can look back into the time capsule and see what all is different.

• Question 1: What do you hope to be like when you get back?
• Well, honestly, I want to return to the United States a cultured man.  I want to be able to see my world from a different perspective, and to view the world with not only more interest, but also with just more excitement and enthusiasm, not taking everything I have for granted.
• Question 2: What do you expect your host site to be like?
• In all honesty, I expect it to be very different from what I know now.  I think it is going to be a lot more scenic, historic, and ultimately more simplistic than all of the ridiculous things that are here in the United States.  I believe Segovia (and most of Spain in general) is truly beautiful and rustic.
• Question 3: What do you think the hardest part will be of it all?
• I think a lot of this experience is going to be difficult, so it is really hard to put the finger down on just one thing!  But, if I had to make a choice, I would say that two things are really going to challenge me.  The first, obviously, is going to be embracing the Spanish culture.  I love Spanish, but I have never lived in and completely immersed myself in it. So, living in Spain and speaking Spanish almost nonstop is going to pose a real challenge in my life.  The other thing would be trying to not get lost in thinking about all of the people in my life here at home.  I think too often than not I go to that place where I doubt because I miss the people and the life I love the most.  And my community here is spectacular.  It is going to be hard to let them go.
• Question 4: Do you have any personal goals?
• I do.  I want to engage.  That is the key word for this semester.  This is the list, plain and simple: engage with the Spanish culture, engage with the Spanish language, engage with the Spanish peoples, engage with myself, and engage with the Lord and his will and plan for my life.
• Question 5: Is there anything that you are afraid of or concerned about?
• Of course!  I would be lying if I didn't.  I have a lot of concerns and fears, but that's because I'm human.  I'm concerned that my host family might not like me.  I'm concerned that when I get there people won't be able to understand what I am trying to communicate to them.  I'm concerned that I will lose sight of God while I'm there and avoid him.  The list could go on forever, but those are the ones that stick out to me most.

Alright everyone.  Sorry for this long-winded and potentially draining message, but I promise.  It's almost finished.  The reason I wanted to post this was to show just how much has been traveling through this cranium.  At the end of the day, I can honestly say this: even though this past semester was one of the most draining and emotionally exhausting semesters of my college careers, it was by far my most rewarding.  The challenges have matured me into a stronger human being, and it has prepared me to take on the challenge of a new semester in a new world.

If you are into this sort of thing, I would just like to make a prayer request.  I pray that the Lord may guide us in safe travels as we embark to Segovia the next couple of days, and that as we get into the swing of things this semester we can develop a solid routine and gain the most out of this experience as possible overseas. :)  Your prayer and support would be greatly appreciated!

But as I finish this post, I can't help but think of one of my favorite verses to end it, to remind me just how valued and capable I really can be if I put all of my life, all of my hopes, all of my fears, and all of my struggles into the One person that deserves it most: Jesus.

"I can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens me." -Philippians 4:13